Monday, February 23, 2015

Rule #1.

When my husband deployed in October, I had a plan.

I knew I couldn't predict what deployment was going to hold for us, but I knew I had a few areas that I could control.

When I sent him off, he had his mission and, I resolved to have mine. I was going to get through this deployment with a positive attitude and I was going to focus on my physical transformation. After 3 kids in just 4 years, I was ready to get my body back!

The night I dropped him off I came home, put the kids to bed and resolved to get to work. I wasn't going to waste a night on the couch crying and watching lame love stories. Not in this house! I had a body to chisel!

So, I snapped a quick picture -- what I was sure was going to be my newest "before" -- and got to work. I allowed myself a grumpy, "this is the first day of deployment" expression - but was determined to get to work and let those endorphins lead the way to a better attitude!

The endorphins worked. But, if you know anything about deployment, you know the #1 RULE is to EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. 

That being said, I dealt with the car trouble, leaky roof and sick kiddos NO PROBLEM.  Inconvenient as they were, I knew that I should be expecting these things.  I did it with a smile too! After all, part of my plan was to have a good attitude! I was eating right and getting in my exercise! All my actions lined up with my goals. I was feeling so proud.

But I was getting tired. Really, really tired. And while my attitude was good and I was being consistent, I wasn't seeing the physical results I had imagined. So, I went to the doctor and realized that while I had a plan -- so did God. 

His plan was to test my "good attitude" resolve and push my vain goals aside for a bit. Imagine that. ;)

Three weeks into deployment, I sat alone in the doctors office and learned that "expect the unexpected" meant I am expecting. Oh yea. Go ahead and take the moment necessary to let that soak in. My fourth baby.

Needless to say, I'm not getting abs.  That "before" picture is now my "first day of pregnancy" picture! But, I am forming a complete human being and that will never cease to amaze me or seem less miraculous. It is not lost on me what a total blessing a baby is. It never, ever, ever will be.

God replaced my plan with His own, and I am so thankful for the path He has laid out for me. As i have shared my news with a few people I see regularly I have been overwhelmed with well wishes and support. I'm so thankful for those people God lead me to tell, because their perspective and friendship has meant a lot to me. 

I'm about 18 weeks along now, and while the sweaters of winter are helping me out, in a small frame pregnancy doesn't hide forever. In addition to the pregnancy becoming more obvious, I'm just getting to be exceptionally excited and wanted to share with the world.

Babies are such blessings, and I'm so honored God has chosen to gift me another life to foster. I am overwhelmed, but know that in my struggles I will grow towards the Lord. I am tired, but I know that He renews me each morning. And yes, I do have my hands full. Feel free to not remind me. I'm oh, so aware. But I know that with full hands I also have a full heart, a full home and a full life.

In a fun twist, when I was in high school I decided I want four kids. 3 boys and a girl. Today, I learned that is exactly what I'll be getting!

So here is to you, handsome prince #3. Can't wait to meet you in July!

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